Thoughts at work & reading

I really didn't forget about this poor blog. It's just a matter of planning my time wisely enough to write on it. Okay, the big changes: I now have a new address!
8720 Queen Ave S, Bloomington, MN 55431. This is the real deal :). I mistakenly had officially changed my address to 3720 earier~oops! I think it is all fixed now.

I've had many, many thoughts running through my head lately, but here are the ones that are standing up strong in my mind.
1.) After talking with a co-worker in the break room while we were both heating up our lunches in the microwave (yah for Office life!), I was so discouraged to hear him proudly proclaim that he believes in the truth of all religions (truth, kindness, loyalty, love, etc). He's very tolerant and believes the differences between religions are all man-made. I tried to ask him about the differences with the intention of mentioning Jesus, but he cut me off and said that we had already had enough "serious talk" for the day. As I watched him walk away I was so frustrated that he didn't care to hear any view but his own, and he was confident in his "goodness" for being balanced and tolerant. Immediately after that thought ran through my head, God reminded me, "Diana, you cannot change your co-worker. He has no desire to seek the truth right now. You could not have changed his mind." I come to this conclusion a lot but I normally just "stay there" and never more beyond doing anything else to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ. But God didn't stop talking. He also reminded me, "Diana, you do not fight against flesh and blood nor do you fight with words and wisdom. This is a spiritual battle and I am the only One who can open this man (and all of your other co-workers') minds."
I KNOW this truth, but I don't often live it. This has helped me to pray for this man the rest of the week and my other co-workers as they come to mind. I am so foolish and poor with words! I can NEVER think of the right thing to say. I see now that I need to put my effort into praying for them and not trying to convince them of something.

2.) I'm currently reading "The Supremacy of Christ in a Postmodern World." I'm only in the first essay, but several points are really making me think:
A.) This culture blurs truth in so many ways. God has clarified truth for us and I need to rely wholly on His truth.
B.) True religion is not about man seeking or finding God. True religion takes place in one's heart when God has "found" (sought out and saved) man. Man doesn't seek after God and I know this is where I fail often in talking & dealing with unbelievers about God. I let them think that they are seeking God and they just need to keep seeking Him. God is seeking them and that is what I and they need to know.
C.) When dealing with rival worldviews, I need to understand that confrontation (not adaptation) is the goal. True love deals on the basis of truth, not on trying to find as much common ground as possible. Arguing will not help or change anything. Conforming will cause the same amount of damage.

There is no place like home!

It has been SO nice to be home this week. A lot has already gone on and there are 3 more full days before I return to Minnesota on Sunday. Praise God for how He has worked out all of the details so that I have been able to enjoy those that I really wanted/needed to see and have quality time with each. I am a bit tired (I guess I don't usually have a "date" with about 15 or more people in a typical week), but what a blessing to enjoy the people God has put into my life! Sleepovers with cousins, dinners with my family, lunch with Ken & Sharon, and being able to pray with those that I love is all worth it. Speaking of prayer, I went to prayer meeting at my church in Ohio and heard people pray for almost two hours together about genuine needs, weaknesses, physical & emotional pain, and God's will. Some of these people I have known for years and have never heard them pray until tonight. After all of the challenges and struggles that have taken place in this church, I was so refreshed to watch God talk to these people and remind us how much we need Him. Years of exhausting concern were calmed in my heart tonight. God's plan will always be accomplished. What a privilege that we get to see some of it now and that He does reward (in His perfect way and timing) those who seek Him.

By Thursday

After a dropped smoothy, another "arrived too late to change my oil" trip, LOTS of sitting in my car (with a broken window) due to road construction, having to go to 3 libraries to find one that is open, and a flat tire later...I am thankful for God's peace, ready for a lot of sleep, and SO excited that the car mechanic fixed my car window (after I showed up 40 min for my appointment) today anyway and that I get to go home (to Ohio) tomorrow after work. What a blessing! I'm so glad that we won't use cars in heaven or have to spend money on anything!

Good Night

It is already past bedtime (again) but can I just say with delight that the Lord God is so wonderful!? This was one of the most frustrating weekends I've had in months yet I am so refreshed and ready to start a new week. Starting Thursday, I found out that I didn't pass a job interview, my car window broke for the 3rd time in 4 months (the 2nd time in 2 weeks), the electricity quit working in my bathroom (I'm functioning by hall & candle light right now), I got very little sleep, I tried to get my oil changed but arrived at the lube shop too late in the day, I didn't get to take care of a few things I had planned on, and our clothes dryer quit working. Hahaha, God is kind. I'll try to post some of what Pastor Muri shared today from Luke & John but it was exactly what I needed. I also had several friends to talk and pray with this weekend. What a difference that makes!

Patience, Perspective, and Peace

Speaking of patience, I have never been more convinced in my life that God has a passionate obsession with making His children patient children who wait wholly on Him to act on their behalf. God gave Noah the project of building an ark to protect he and his family from the rain that Noah had never seen; and Noah obeyed amongst a wicked and mocking generation for 100 years before his faith was proven as righteousness. God moved Abraham out of his estate and country to a foreign land that was to belong to Abraham’s descendents, though it never belonged to him. His father died during this journey and Abraham had to wait 25 years after God promised Him a child in his impotent old age before he held baby Isaac. Oh, and Joseph grew up with no mother and 10 brothers who hated him for 17 years. Then he was a slave and a prisoner of Egypt for another 14 years before he was given freedom from the punishment of crimes he never committed. Moses grew up in Pharaoh’s court but wandered in the wilderness as a shepherd for 40 years before God led him in the exodus of the Hebrews. Then Moses wandered 40 more years in the desert with the often miserable children of Israel. David ran for his life from Saul for at least 7 years after God had promised him the throne of Israel. Daniel was deported from his family and homeland to live in one of the most pagan, evil cultures for at least 60 years and never got to return home. Prophet after prophet (Jeremiah, Isaiah, Hosea, etc) preached to unrepentant crowds who usually killed them in the end…maybe I’m just imagining this, but I kind of think that God’s sense of timing is a LITTLE bit different than my own. How do I get so impatient when I have so many examples in front of me of those that God used in SIGNIFICANT ways who had to deal with years and years of … seemingly wasted time. Oh God! Will you change this foolish heart that cannot understand Your ways?!!! Please change my perspective that wants to calculate value with earthly measurements instead of heavenly wisdom.

Jumping right in!

There is something entirely too tempting to me about starting anew on a blank page! Hence, I decided to try out BlogSpot :) I'll see how it works.

On this Friday night, I ended up having the evening to myself. I went for a wonderful run in the first really hot day Minnesota has had this summer~I loved it! After dinner and a much needed shower, I spent the rest of my evening reading Evidence Not Seen, by Darlene Deibler Rose. This book must sit along the shelf beside The Hiding Place, Bruchko, Through Gates of Splendor, and the many other books that tell the story of those great company of men and woman who understand that life does not happen in the huge events that invade certain points of history (war, travel, a crisis, the perfect opportunity, perhaps a family, the perfect job, etc) , but takes place in the everydayness of every moment. It is in the dishwashing, redlight waiting, bill-paying, room cleaning, repetitiveness of life that the real battle is won or lost.
This is a different kind of autobiography. She doesn't spend lots of time on details, so the reading is sometimes more factual than intriguing, but the content just blows my mind. These were some thoughts that I had after reading a few chapters:

· I think I have struggled my whole life with the concepts of faith in God and confidence (in Him) because they get so mixed up with sin in my own life. The Bible tells us to have faith, to believe God; yet how many times have I faced disappointment when what I want to happen or what I believe God is doing is proven untrue? Out of protection from disappointment and struggles with pride I have hidden from pursuing a strong faith. God continues to grow me in this area in significant ways (Hebrews 11:6) but the path is slow with MANY hindrances. Reading Evidence Not Seen tonight has clarified one understanding in my mind: when a child of God is confident of something material or immaterial that God is going to do (and they are right! Whether that be providing food, money, a possession, an appointment, a friend, spouse, a miracle, etc) it is not wrong, pride, or wishful thinking that gives one this confidence. It is that their heart is in tune with God’s and one has confidence because he or she has heard God speak to them. Oh God! You have surrounded me with the stories of saints who listened and heard You speak. I have heard You speak to my own heart…this has provided much sanity and strength in moments, but also is heavy when I listen to my doubts. Oh God! Grow this heart! Please speak and give me ears to hear. Teach me to be confident about what YOU say and flexibly submissive to what I desire or think may happen. Make my desires Your desires. Let us walk together (and run, crawl, rest, sprint, limp, and dance). Every moment.