Jumping right in!

There is something entirely too tempting to me about starting anew on a blank page! Hence, I decided to try out BlogSpot :) I'll see how it works.

On this Friday night, I ended up having the evening to myself. I went for a wonderful run in the first really hot day Minnesota has had this summer~I loved it! After dinner and a much needed shower, I spent the rest of my evening reading Evidence Not Seen, by Darlene Deibler Rose. This book must sit along the shelf beside The Hiding Place, Bruchko, Through Gates of Splendor, and the many other books that tell the story of those great company of men and woman who understand that life does not happen in the huge events that invade certain points of history (war, travel, a crisis, the perfect opportunity, perhaps a family, the perfect job, etc) , but takes place in the everydayness of every moment. It is in the dishwashing, redlight waiting, bill-paying, room cleaning, repetitiveness of life that the real battle is won or lost.
This is a different kind of autobiography. She doesn't spend lots of time on details, so the reading is sometimes more factual than intriguing, but the content just blows my mind. These were some thoughts that I had after reading a few chapters:

· I think I have struggled my whole life with the concepts of faith in God and confidence (in Him) because they get so mixed up with sin in my own life. The Bible tells us to have faith, to believe God; yet how many times have I faced disappointment when what I want to happen or what I believe God is doing is proven untrue? Out of protection from disappointment and struggles with pride I have hidden from pursuing a strong faith. God continues to grow me in this area in significant ways (Hebrews 11:6) but the path is slow with MANY hindrances. Reading Evidence Not Seen tonight has clarified one understanding in my mind: when a child of God is confident of something material or immaterial that God is going to do (and they are right! Whether that be providing food, money, a possession, an appointment, a friend, spouse, a miracle, etc) it is not wrong, pride, or wishful thinking that gives one this confidence. It is that their heart is in tune with God’s and one has confidence because he or she has heard God speak to them. Oh God! You have surrounded me with the stories of saints who listened and heard You speak. I have heard You speak to my own heart…this has provided much sanity and strength in moments, but also is heavy when I listen to my doubts. Oh God! Grow this heart! Please speak and give me ears to hear. Teach me to be confident about what YOU say and flexibly submissive to what I desire or think may happen. Make my desires Your desires. Let us walk together (and run, crawl, rest, sprint, limp, and dance). Every moment.